Life Change Stories

Danielle May Wrote:
I was diagnosed with stage 1B1 cervical cancer this past April, only 4 months after giving birth to our second child, Hunter. Before my diagnosis, anytime I heard the word “cancer” I thought “big, bad, scary, suffering, death.” If someone had told me I would have cancer, I would have told you I’d be laid up in bed having a 24-7 pity party and be a basket case of fear.

I didn’t start a real, authentic relationship with God until January 2008 during my first women’s ministry study at Fellowship. Since that time, God has been preparing my heart for a major battle. My grandmother, who helped raise me, was my greatest ali and was at every single OB appt when I was pregnant with our daughter. She went to meet our Maker on January 14, 2008. All I could think was, “I don’t know how to survive in a world where my Nana doesn’t exist.” God graciously showed me just how to do that! God brought along so many amazing Christian women into my life over the next few months that lifted me up and loved on me. I continued to grow closer to God and invite him into every area of my life.

In April 2008, we found out we were pregnant with our son-a HUGE surprise as we were not planning to try for #2 until that fall. His due date- Christmas Day, my grandma’s favorite holiday and would be the first without her. A son to be born on the very same day as God’s only. I had a rough pregnancy with lots of bedrest, but every ER trip and hospital stay, I truly had no fear. I knew God designed this little person for so many amazing reasons that he would protect him against it all. I kept thinking the womb was God’s little refuge for our baby and knew he would be safe.

Hunter was born December 12,and I know God was in the delivery room every second as the nurses were running around screaming, “STAT”, “losing the heartbeat”, and “we can’t wait on the doctor.” He was laying on his umbilical cord, cutting off his lifeline. He came out screaming perfect! Four months later when the OBGYN practice’s head hauncho walked in the door, I knew it wasn’t good. “It’s cancer.” Definitely not something you expect to hear at 27 years old and only 2 months after receiving a clean bill of health. And in that moment, I never once thought, “big, bad, scary, suffering, death”. I didn’t think about how sick I would get, how much pain I might feel or what I would have to go through. All I could think about was my babies growing up without a mama -- Nobody to french braid Bella’s hair or sing “You Are My Sunshine” when she was scared -- Nobody to fill up fifty zillion pictures of the same cheesy Hunter grin or teach him that girls CAN fish. God whipped me into shape real quick and graced me with my Cancer Warrior attitude!! There were moments when I honestly thought, “How the heck am I doing this?” and I knew it could only be God. God just wrapped me in a blanket of blessings making me constantly aware of the fact that I CAN be joyous even in the rottenest of situations. I was so intensely aware of how God had been working in my life, preparing me for this exact moment. I suddenly had absolutely no fear of death-I would get to see Jesus face to face and hold my Nana’s sweet little hand again, how insanely amazing!! I had no fear of chemo -- if I lost my hair, so what? I’d get to try all kinds of fun hairstyles that I’d never have the guts to do otherwise. I had no fear of surgery and the inevitable fact that I would never have another baby -- God had taken care of it all and brought Hunter into our lives just in time! I didn’t fear the big bad “C” word -- God was with me... I wouldn’t be alone and I wouldn’t let this cancer go to waste because that would be like spitting in God’s face. This journey has been a gift that has allowed me to touch people’s lives and show them a tiny taste of God’s love.

I’ll never forget the evening after the Elders anointed me with oil and prayed over me. Ben and I both confessed to each other that we had been praying all afternoon, “Please just take the cancer away, do your healing and just amaze the doctors.” We both were greeted with the Holy Spirit telling us, “Why are you praying this still? ITS ALREADY DONE.” We were in separate cars, going different places when this happened and had no clue until we shared later that evening. THAT gave us both so much peace going into my surgery. I remember my pre-op appointments and the nurses would say, “You don’t even seem scared. You do realize this is CANCER and this is a major surgery and you’ll have to do radiation, right?” And I would say, “I know. I have nothing to fear because God is already healing me.”

I never thought I’d be thankful to God for cancer but it has brought me and so many others incredibly closer to Him and I LOVE Him for that! Draw Near has reminded me how much God was my ultimate refuge -- for my body, my heart and my soul. He graced me and my family with this wild journey but its served such a HUGE, beautiful purpose of allowing people to see a REAL person go through the ultimate battle and be able to let them see God’s healing in every moment. God was there to hear my cries even when I didn’t realize I was crying out for Him and He has healed me --COMPLETELY -- my CT scan done last week came back as “no evidence of disease.”