Draw Near in the Deep End

We’ve been treading water for a long time, that is, my family and me. Treading it seems for the past couple of years with a full-time job, second jobs, full-time college, elementary and middle school functions, volunteer work and extra- curricular activities. We’re just treading; not moving forward really, just trying to stay afloat. It doesn’t take long to realize that we are treading spiritually too. We attend church regularly and recently returned from a “break” from community group. Spiritually speaking, we’re not moving forward, we’re just trying to stay afloat.

This week I have thought about this. When I was in High School I trained to become a lifeguard; one of the skills we had to master in order to become certified was to tread water fully clothed in the deep end of the pool. This week as Draw Near kicked off (with the additional meeting added to an already full schedule, waking thirty minutes earlier for quiet time, straining financial issues, crisis in our community group family and a flu virus), I feel like I am treading water fully clothed; any minute the water will suck me under as I give way to exhaustion.

In preparation for Draw Near, I realized something that is probably obvious to everyone around me. We are way too busy and we need to realign our priorities. How? I feel that nothing in our schedule is really optional. I asked God this very same question. Honestly, I think God will have more opportunities for us to work on this but for this week it really was an invitation to Draw Near to Him. It didn’t require a major schedule overhaul; it was a simple RSVP to say that we would show up.

During my morning quiet time beginning with Day One, I began to wonder what a new picture of what my faith could look like, what it could feel like. In my past struggles I was disappointed that my faith did not carry me further. Perhaps God is using my current difficulties to teach me about genuine faith. God has given me a thirst.

“He who believes in Me”, as the Scripture said, “From his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:38) In my mind, I am standing in a dark dense cloud and from my chest a bright blue stream rushes out of me giving hope to others. I have seen this modeled by others whose devastating circumstances would have caused my own faith to wither but instead, they lifted their heads and praised God’s name; they let the living water flow.

From my morning quiet time, a conversation started to happen around our dinner table about Draw Near. I do most of the talking right now but we work on the memory verse and I am confident that by Saturday, we will have a natural flow into the discussion outlined in our booklet and then some.

So, we’re still treading water but perhaps now I am not feeling like I am treading water with a flannel shirt and jeans on. It’s not so heavy, and all I had to do was show up.